Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
