why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize