oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
