So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
