last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
