Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
