she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
