3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
