Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
