dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
