I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
