so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
