Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
