just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i now understand why vodka
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
