We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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