No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize