you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
