Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize