i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize