Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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