Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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