My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
