That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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