I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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