I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
