He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
