So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
