I think scott just propositioned me for sex
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize