dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
