just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
