i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
