He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize