Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
