These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I want her autograph on my taint
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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