Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
