is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
