Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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