Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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