Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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