BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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