I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
