so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
