I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
