508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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