Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
