if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
