I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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