You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
