Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
