if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
is that a dick in a sweater?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
