if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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