I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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