Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
