Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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