Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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