I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
