but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
smell my finger.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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