thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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