New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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