it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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