I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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