I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize