when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
