I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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