I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
