Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
