I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
