I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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