My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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