haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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