I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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