There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
